Portraits of Proverbs 31: Abigail {Part 1}

Saul didn't start out a bad guy. When we first meet him in 1 Samuel 9, he seems genuinely nice--humble and caring, if a little stingy.

But it wasn't long before Saul messed up big time due to a lack of faith (1 Samuel 13), and God removed the blessings that would have belonged to him and his family. "The Lord has sought for Himself a man after His own heart, and the Lord has commanded him to be commander over His people, because you have not kept what the Lord commanded you," Samuel told the presumptuous king (1 Samuel 13:14).

After yet another serious blunder by King Saul, Samuel was sent to anoint that other man--David, the youngest son of Jesse, a shepherd and musician.

David proved to be an asset to Israel even before he took the office of king--playing peaceful music for King Saul and becoming his armorbearer, killing Goliath, and serving as a powerful military leader. He became best friends with Saul's son and caught the eye of one of Saul's daughters, and at first Saul loved him like his own son.

But as time passed and the Israelites grew fond of David, Saul became jealous of the attention he felt he should be receiving himself, and David was forced to flee.

David behaved, for the most part, very honorably in his dealings with Saul. Saul was the de facto King of Israel, and he knew no matter how hard Saul tried to kill him and those who protected him, it was God's right, not his, to end Saul's kingship.

Yet in a moment of peace between himself and Saul, David and his men encountered a man that apparently made David far angrier than Saul ever had: Nabal (1 Samuel 25). Nabal was a very rich man with a very foolish heart. (As you've probably heard, his name, Nabal, actually means "fool." You know what they say about self-fulfilling prophecies...)

David and his men protected Nabal's shepherds and possessions for some time, and subsequently went to Nabal on a feast day and asked for some food. It was customary to give gifts of food as common hospitality. This kind of generosity would be especially expected from such a rich man, and especially on a feast day (1 Samuel 25:6-8). But Nabal was not feeling so generous.

In his request, David called himself "your son David," but Nabal responded scornfully, "Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants nowadays who break away each one from his master. Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have killed for my shearers, and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?" (v. 10-11). (I just love that response, because I feel like I can hear him saying it in my head!)

This made David very angry, and he instructed his men to strap on their swords and get ready to murder Nabal and all the men in his household. As a man of war, perhaps killing had become commonplace to him. It seemed like the logical solution to this problem: this man is disrespecting me and not giving me what I want, so I'll just take him out. That'll teach him. (I don't mean to sound disrespectful myself of such a godly man--however, this is an instance where David's response is quite rash and illogical.)

Thankfully, someone told Nabal's beautiful and intelligent and definitely-not-foolish wife Abigail about the issue before it went too far. She acted quickly, not telling Nabal what she was about. Abigail hurried to get together food (lots of food) and to come down to David, humbly pleading for his forgiveness for the foolishness of her husband.

"Now when Abigail saw David, she dismounted quickly from the donkey, fell on her face before David, and bowed down to the ground. So she fell at his feet and said: 'On me, my lord, on me let this iniquity be!" (v. 23-24). Abigail humbly took blame she didn't deserve and gave a touching speech encouraging David to rethink his intentions.

"No therefore, my lord, as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, since the Lord has held you back from coming to bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hand, now then, let your enemies and those who seek harm for my lord be as Nabal. ... For the Lord will certainly make for my lord an enduring house, because my lord fights the battles of the Lord, and evil is not found in you throughout your days.

"Yet a man has risen to pursue you and seek your life, but the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living with the Lord your God; and the lives of your enemies He shall sling out, as from the pocket of a sling" (v. 26,28-29). (Side note: notice the "pocket of a sling" analogy, probably referencing the original source of David's fame. I love that.)

Abigail knew that God was with David, and she knew the end intended for him (and for her husband, and all David's enemies) by God. Some call Abigail a prophetess because of her words, but either way, she certainly knew God's law and the blessings that come from following it. She only asked that once David became king, as she knew he would, that he remember her and the good she had done for him in keeping him from murder.

David took her gifts, blessed her, and turned back.

She went home, found Nabal busily getting drunk ("holding a feast...like the feast of a king"), and decided it still wasn't the right time to tell him. She waited till the morning to tell him everything, and "his heart died within him" (v. 37). Ten days later, he died. God exacted the revenge for David (Deuteronomy 32:35, Romans 12:19) and granted Abigail a new happy beginning with a man after His own heart.

A followup post is coming soon with several of the lessons we can learn from Abigail's beautiful example. The general lesson I'd like to close with here, though, is found in Romans 12, nestled around the "Vengeance is Mine" scripture I referenced a moment ago.

Paul writes, "Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord. ... Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:17-19,21).

Abigail was married to a very wicked man, yet she did not let his darkness snuff out her light. She knew that with God on her side, her light would overcome his darkness. Evil can easily snowball us over, coating us with it and sending us hurtling down the same treacherous path. We have to instead stand firm in goodness, and trust that no matter what it seems like at the moment, God's way will always overcome in the end.

Take Charge of Your Health! {With Printables}

This Friday, I'm giving a presentation on some healthy lifestyle basics to a group of employees at a cancer center where I volunteer. The staff is doing a weight loss challenge this month, and they asked me to come and speak to them about some simple things they can do--they want to win! I agreed, and I thought it might be helpful to share the resources I'm putting together for them.

Click here to access the flyer version of the presentation below.

Click here to download the health log I put together (see notes at the bottom of this post regarding the health log).

EAT MINDFULLY

I love this graphic from Susan Albers, PsyD. Take time to read over it and really think about how you can apply mindful eating principles to your daily life. Some things to consider:

• What triggers you to eat?
• Do you tend to crave unhealthy foods?
• How often do you snack in front of the TV?
• Do you ever think about seconds while you’re eating your first serving?
• Do you stop eating before you’re full? (Remember the 20 minute rule--it takes 15-20 minutes for the signals of fullness from your stomach to be sent to your brain, so eat slowly and give yourself time!)

EXERCISE

• Find something you enjoy! Pilates? Swimming? Walking? Dancing?
• Do something active for 30 minutes every day—make it a part of your routine!
• Focus on strength, flexibility, and endurance more than weight loss.

WATCH YOUR EMPTY CALORIES

• Keep track of what you’re eating so you can see what nutrients you’re getting and what you’re missing. You have to keep track to stay on track! There are plenty of online sites and apps where you can do this paperlessly (see resources below), but if you like to have something real to write on, I'm attaching a printable to help you keep track of your intake (see notes for how to use the printout)!
• Make your meals and snacks count—focus on “nutrient density.” This means that your food should have a greater proportion of vitamins and minerals in it compared to calories. Fruits, vegetables, low-fat dairy, and whole grains are good examples of nutrient dense foods.

PURCHASE HEALTHY

• Make a grocery list of healthy foods, including lots of fresh fruits and veggies for snacks, and stick to that list! It's much easier to eat healthy when the unhealthy foods aren't readily available.
• Eat out less. When you do eat out, check the menu and nutrition facts online first so you can make informed choices.

MAKE SIMPLE CHANGES

• Write down what you ate yesterday, including condiments and snacks. What could you cut without missing it?
• Switch from whole milk to low-fat or fat-free.
• Switch from sugary cereals to fiber-rich cereals.
• Pick at least one snack to replace with a vegetable (swap out pretzels for carrots, for example).
• Eat your salads with less non-vegetable extras. Swap out creamy dressings like Ranch or French dressing for oil-and-vinegar dressings (such as Italian dressings or vinaigrettes), and limit the croutons and cheese.
• Bake foods instead of frying them.
• Cut 1/4 of the fat (butter, margarine, and oil) and sugar from some of your favorite recipes--you should be able to cut this much without noticing a big difference or greatly impacting the texture of the food. You can also try replacing part of the fat with applesauce or pureed prunes.
• Use more spices. Spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, ginger, and allspice can bring out the flavor of sweet foods so that less sugar is needed, and savory spices like basil, oregano, thyme, and pepper can be used instead of salt.
• Be choosy about your calorie dense foods. Eat small amounts of the ones you really enjoy, so you don't feel like you're depriving yourself. Let things you don't enjoy immensely, go. (For example, I love cheesecake--one of the most absolutely calorie dense desserts ever created. I don't love donuts; in fact, I find them kind of tasteless--but if they're in the break room, I tend to eat them anyway! So I've made a rule that I won't eat the donuts, but if there is cheesecake, I allow myself a few bites--which is really all it takes.)
• This is only a brief listing. What simple substitutions or changes have you made/can you make?

 RESOURCES

Nutrition/Exercise Tracking (most of these are also available in app form):

• choosemyplate.gov
• supertracker.usda.gov
• myfitnesspal.com 
• mapmyrun.com
• sparkpeople.com

Online Exercise Routines:

• youtube.com/efit30
• physique57.com/online-workouts.htm
• gaiamtv.com/category/fitness-videos (paid membership)

What are your favorite resources for nutrition and exercise?

NOTES ON USING THE HEALTH LOG PRINTABLE

On the back page, you can use your total daily calorie needs to figure out the Calorie deficit you are creating each day. 3500 Calories = 1 Pound, so a 500 Calorie deficit each day should cause about a 1 pound loss each week. Keep in mind that no calculation of total daily needs is perfectly accurate, and you should always talk to your doctor before starting any kind of weight loss regimen. 

To calculate your approximate total daily needs, first calculate your basal metabolic rate (BMR), the minimum amount of Calories your body uses each day if all you do is breathe, using this link. Then click on the Harris Benedict Equation link from that page to calculate what you need with some exercise factored in. Use this number in the Total Daily Needs blank at the bottom of the second page.

Regarding the Weigh-In, I suggest doing this no more than once or twice a week. Any fluctuations from one day to the next are likely just changes in water weight, because it's nor really feasible to lose a pound of fat in a single day. Make sure you're weighing yourself at the same time of day (same fullness and hydration state) as well to make the changes as accurate as possible.

I hope this is a helpful resource to you should you choose to use it! Please let me know if you have any questions about it or suggestions for improvement. Feel free to print as many copies as you like and use it for anything for which you think it would be helpful!

Shared on Titus 2 Tuesday #46

They Would Have Called Her Beautiful Before (A Sketch)

A spray of dirty rainwater awoke her and she looked up to see the weathered tires spinning past into the dreary gray morning. She was tired and weathered herself, and her upturned face invited the fat droplets that shook her worn frame. Rain was supposed to be revitalizing, but instead it just made her weary. Rain like the day she was here to commemorate. And it was still raining; rain day after day, as if it had never stopped at all.

An SUV sputtered by, and a little boy peered out the tinted backseat window at her. Children were the only ones who ever seemed to notice. His nose was pressed up against the glass, his nostrils fogging the window in two small ovals. But his eyes only lingered on her for a moment as they passed, quickly leaping forward to some new object of interest along the roadside.

Forgotten.

His name, so lovingly and tearfully inscribed with a black Crayola on the small wooden cross next to her, had long ago washed away, ink leaching into the dark soil and disappearing. Forgotten. She was the only one left to mark that he had ever driven down this road; the sole memorial of the anxious moment before the boy in the SUV started watching but after the rain started and then never stopped; the dreamlike Newtonian nightmare when two sliding objects stayed in motion and he was laid to rest.

She was tired of being the only one to remember.

He was one moment here, the next moment evanescent. And yet she was tied down, ageless yet dying slowly in the rain that never stopped. Would never stop until her last weary silk rose petal fell and washed away toward the ocean with all the rest.

Flowerburst

I started my first "journal" at age 6, started writing my first "book" at age 7, and started writing "poetry" around age 9. My first dream job was to be a book publisher so that I would get paid to read all day. Writing has never really been something I talk about or share, though. So, with a dash of characteristically under-developed boldness, I decided that I'd like to share this with you. Pair it with Matthew chapter 24.

singular

             ly ache for of a

flowerburst! moment

wist

      eria (growing up the wall upon the sky

and listen)

silver mouth of ocean shudders shut

stars trickle like gravity

whisp

        er

flowers turn their heads

and listen for of up

but.shouting faces affixed machetes triggers booming clawing fingers scrabble (down

listless rolling white eyes up)petal quivers down.

great red gash across a vacant garment of sky and

stars trickle like thunder

and.detonation of passionate color

amid greenbluegold (for of up

wist

      eria breaks into rose

whisp

        er blossoms into song